A reason for spending £4.99 this Christmas

A Reason for Living, by Nick Waterworth: a small book with a powerful punch.

 £4.99 (with free p & p); all proceeds donated to the charity, Hospice Care at Home.

When Ali from Carrotsmash agreed to help Nick write his memoir, she had no idea of the emotional journey she would be setting out on herself: by the time she wrote the final words for Nick, Ali was just as desperate to make his voice heard.

When he was twenty-two years old, Nick was a passenger in a car that swerved from the road and ploughed into a tree. The driver walked away unhurt, but Nick suffered serious injuries, including injuries to his brain. Twenty-six years later, he is still struggling to come to terms with the way one night in 1991 changed his life forever. His memoir is Nick’s story of before and after: his recollections from his earlier life and his fight back from his near-death experience. Through his book, Nick articulates the pain and difficulty in dealing with life-changing injuries; his frustration at the way others now perceive him.

Ali says, ‘Nick is a sweet and gentle man who is desperate to tell his story and help others understand his frustration at what happened to him all those years ago. The narrative voice is his - through this book, he articulates clearly his still raw grief at the loss of his former self.’

  

If you’d like a copy, simply email ali@carrotsmash.co.uk with your details and we’ll arrange it for you and let you know how you can pay. If you’d like to leave a comment on the Carrotsmash website, please feel free to do so.

A Reason for Living, by Nick Waterworth

At last - after all those meetings, all the work and all the waiting - Nick's book is published!

It began when Nick appeared in my writing workshop in York. He desperately wanted to tell his story of the car crash that had changed his life forever, but didn't know how to start... so he and I began work on his memoir. From the start it was a challenge - Nick has memory loss and brain injuries, so many of his earlier memories have been wiped. His mother, Pat came to the rescue by contributing to the project. And Nick didn't give up trying to articulate what had happened to him.

Nick's memoir is a small book - but it is authentic, and powerful. The narrative voices are his, and his mother's - together they express their pain and the struggle that life has now, at times, become. Above all, it is an honest story that reaches out to us all. Nick, you are a star. See you at the book launch - watch this space!

If you'd like a copy of Nick's book it costs £3.99 plus 50p postage. Simply email ali@carrotsmash.co.uk and we'll organise a copy for you.

Just received the sad news that my publisher, David Wheeler from Red Axe Books, has died. As a publisher, he was so supportive - told me that he believed in my writing - and I had a lot of respect for his written work. He will be missed.

Ali x

A Reason for Living, by Nick Waterworth

Well! Here's a moment - I've just returned the final proofbound copy of Nick Waterworth's memoir to the publishers. It's a lovely little book, I think - I've worked on it with him since early spring and for me it's power lies in its honesty.

A taster - the backblurb:

A story of pain… and love. 

When he was twenty-two years old, Nick was a passenger in a car that swerved from the road and ploughed into a tree. The driver walked away unhurt, but Nick suffered serious injuries, including injuries to his brain. Twenty-six years later, Nick is still struggling to come to terms with the way one night in 1991 changed his life forever. 

This memoir is Nick’s story of before and after: his recollections from his earlier life and his fight back from his near-death experience. Nick’s mother, Pat, has contributed to his memoir, filling in some of his fragmented or lost memories. Pat’s own story has become, in part, her gift to her much-loved son. 

Through his book, Nick articulates the pain and difficulty in dealing with life-changing injuries; his frustration at the way others perceive him. It is also an expression of his love for his mother and his appreciation of her constant support and encouragement. 

Need say no more - you can be sure when its published (a couple weeks away) I'll be putting it out there!

Ali x

At Aspergers but...

Now caught up with Chris Packham's @ChrisGPackham documentary Aspergers and Me and I love his positive message: we should be celebrating difference and intelligence. Our education system labels as failing. But Aspergers and Autistic children I have worked in schools have amazing qualities: incredible, detailed memory and acute, focused intelligence.

Not Autistic Spectrum but Individual Intelligence Spectrum!

Pocklington Arts Centre workshop

Pocklington Arts Centre @PocklingtonArts was our venue on Saturday for a writers workshop - we spent some time exploring story structure before delving a bit deeper into those writing skills such as sensory detail, synaesthesia and lifting and expanding sentences.


Some feedback from delegates:

'As one new to writing I found it informative, relaxed, encouraging.'

'Did not know what to expect... I very much enjoyed the session; feel inspired to write... I must avoid cliches! Lots of helpful tips.'

'Loved the workshop, very relaxed and collaborative, supportive atmosphere. Will definitely attend more.'

Well you'll be really welcome - thanks, all, for making it such a great morning.
Look out for more workshops and courses on www.carrotsmash.co.uk -

Check us out at Pocklington Arts Centre http://www.pocklingtonartscentre.co.uk/events/exhibitions%20and%20workshops

or find details of York Carrotsmash courses at yorklearning.org.uk

Room

Last weekend's workshop @YorkExplore was great fun - we took the idea of a room from our past as a starting point, then played with descriptive writing, working with colour and mood. Some beautiful pieces written in response. A few feedback comments:

'I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing'.
'The teacher was very approachable and extremely encouraging. I didn't feel under pressure at all. Very pleased'.
'The thing I liked most: tools and strategies to use when writing - actual writing and feedback. Encouragement! Knowledge from Ali the tutor'.
'Ali is good'.

Thanks to delegates for their positive comments - we aim to please!

Checkout www.carrotsmash.co.uk for up and coming workshops and courses.

Writing from Memory - the Risks we take

What do you do when... a workshopper at the latest Carrotsmash writing workshop @PocklingtonArts uses, for her final piece, her memory of the moment when she held her dying baby in her arms?

Thank her profusely, that's what you do - for taking the risk to 1) recall it in a group situation 2) write it down and 3) share it out loud with us.

It never fails to amaze me how these Writing from Memory workshops produce such moving, expressive writing. My task is to create the right group atmosphere so that writers feel they can share - this lady began the workshop by saying how intimidated she felt. Yet 3 hours later, she produced a finely crafted, sensory piece that articulated her grief all too clearly.

She thanked me at the end - but I was the one who wanted to thank her for her bravery.

Ali x
www.carrotsmash.co.uk

Carrotsmash at Pocklington Arts Centre

Morning all! Autumn term is well under way now and the first of our Carrotsmash Writing Workshops at Pocklington Arts Centre @PocklingtonArts went down a storm! Here's what our latest group of workshoppers thought...

'I really cannot fault the course in any way - the only way I feel it could be improved is to last longer. Thank you so much!'

'I liked the pace - I liked the instruction, time to think, and the time to write - I really enjoyed the session and it got me thinking.'

'Good structure - playing around then on to more serious writing. Not intimidating.'

'Words to describe today: Rounded, professional, peaceful, unrushed but had pace, supportive, focused, challenging.'

'I like the freedom to just write. Everyone has a story, it's their choice to write it, all they have to do is pick up a pen.'

On to the next... October 14 'Stuff for Writers' @PocklingtonArts

And so to print...

This week I met with my client who is brain injured, Mick (not real name) and the publisher. I''ve been ghost writing for Mick since early March and he has now taken the decision to go ahead and print his memoir. We discussed a dedication, front cover, how many photographs etc. I'm proud of him - he is seeing this project through to completion and so, in due course, he'll hold in his hands his life story, written down.

I'm so glad, now, that I didn't tamper with the narrative voice too much. The voice is Mick's and the story is his. It will be a slim book - his damaged brain simply ran out of things it could remember, in the end. But I'm so glad I didn't add unnecessary padding - it is real and moving and, as we approach the last stages, I've come to realise that I am as emotionally involved in this as he is.

So, in due course, I'll hold in my hands Mick's life story, written down - and what a moment it will be.

Ali x

Writing Memoir with Mick

This week, I drive Mick (not his real name) out to the site where the car in which he was a passenger slammed into a tree - and his brain injuries changed his life forever. He has been here once before, about 10 years ago he tells me. As we approach the area, he becomes quiet and I know it is because he is searching for that tree.

We leave the car, and walk up and down the road, looking. I don't know what I was expecting - some monster growth of tree trunk, perhaps, reaching with malicious intent out into the road? Scratches and gouges, all these years later? I hadn't realised that it is a popular area for walkers: a trail leads away from the road into woodland. The trees are green spindlesticks, surrounded by summer growth of fern. It is a warm day. The road is a fast one, though, and the thought of that awful moment of impact chills me.

Mick cannot find the tree. It is a while before he looks up and admits that things might have changed, here. New growth has obscured what he thought would still clearly be visible. After a while, I hesitate, then suggest that - maybe - it is a sign that things move on.

He thinks, then says, 'Do you think that God is saying to me that I should let go; move on too?'

What can I say? 'Yes, I do Mick. Everything moves on in this world, doesn't it?' I think back to our earlier sessions; he was so angry. So caught up in his past. I look at him, and he is smiling.

I'm not suggesting that this is the happy ending he deserves - that would be trite. But at least there is a chance - a small one perhaps - that he will one day begin his process of letting go.

I guess there is a chance that this memoir will become part of that.

Ali x

Lion

Harvey is Year 6 and finds writing extremely challenging. For me, this is when free verse poetry can be great. Here's Harvey's splendid effort. It gave us the chance to use some dynamic verbs (and remind ourselves to use commas in lists).

LION

They have muscles to grab.
Lions are very vicious because they don't know how to
play!
Lions can hear elephants stomp from 100 metres
because they are a BIG species.
Lions eat very savagely,
snorting, panting, growling, grinding!

by Harvey

Gold Star, Harvey!

Fitness Mantra!

Not connected at all with things literary - but simply have to share this: am reading Fast After 50 (Joe Friel) and this is now my mantra: whether you think you are over the hill or not, you are right.

Love this! It's all about the attitude, folks. Those of us who have clocked up slightly more years can now decide - we are young! Yes!

Could mention the forthcoming Carrotsmash writing workshops and courses... running through the Autumn term in York and @Pocklington Arts Centre  - www.carrotsmash for more details.

And apparently, we can have young muscles - just by using them. So no excuses then!

Ali x

A Present... from his Mother

This week's session with my client (Mick - not his real name) who has brain injuries and his mother comes along - she wants to fill in the facts of her son's recovery after the accident. It's difficult hearing how, in those first days and weeks following the crash, health professionals thought he would remain 'a cabbage' (the consultant's words, apparently - not mine). Yet here he is, sitting with me each week and telling his story. Some miracles are possible, then.

The talk moves to Mick's father. I already know that Mick felt unable to be with his father as he died, at home, from asbestosis and cancer, approximately  2 years ago. His mother begins the telling of her husband's death; Mick is transfixed, and I realise that this is a story he doesn't know; he hasn't heard this before.

Mick can remember nothing of those early weeks after the accident and he has struggled with feelings of guilt following his father's death. Working with the material later, I make the decision to put these sections into second person - both stories told in this week's session are gifts to Mick from his mother.

They help fill in at least a few of the blanks that Mick's injured brain has written into his life.

Night Garden Part 2

Working with year 7 Charlotte on descriptive writing and, following her excellent evocation of a dream-like garden, next session we focused on controlling description and turning the mood from positive to negative. We attempted an Angela Carteresque switch from the present moment to flashback before returning to the action. I've added the final few sentences of Charlotte's Night Garden Part 1 for continuity:

Snow drops swayed in the humid breeze, catching moonbeams in their wake. Early honeysuckle climbed the aged brick wall, filling the air with its sweet nectar scent. I drifted, moon-dazed.

When I was in primary school, I learnt the moon controls the gravitational pull of the waves; their dip, dive and reverse. I realised how small I must seem to it. Visions of it enveloping me into its vast white circumference haunted me, swallowing my tiny, insignificant body.

                Which the garden seemed to now. The darkness was engulfing me, trapping me in its murky depths. Trees closed in. A vengeful moon slipped beneath the clouds. A single moonbeam shone down, illuminating my pathway. Instead of being magical, it was the complete opposite. A strangulated cry escaped my lips and I started to run. My heart was pounding in my chest as the once delicate grass turned and snagged my feet. Leaves plummeted, creating a trap for my sore feet. If that didn’t work, holly leaves littered the path I had once carelessly skipped on, the prickle that usually irritated now a white hot, stabbing pain in my feet. Crying now I encountered the next horror of the night.

Charlotte, May 2017

1) Sadly my horticultural knowledge isn't sufficient to be able to comment on the legitimacy of snowdrops and early honeysuckle being in bloom at the same time, but who cares? Great writing, Charlotte!

Pocklington Arts Centre - Great Venue!

The first Carrotsmash @carrotSMASH2 Writing Workshop took place on Saturday at Pocklington Arts Centre @PocklingtonArts - great venue and great group to work with. Look out for more Carrotsmash workshops this autumn - full details will be in Pocklington Arts Centre brochure, or visit www.carrotsmash.co.uk. In the meantime, what did workshoppers think of Saturday's session?

'Good venue. Good group. Enthusiastic and supportive.'
'A thoroughly enjoyable morning. I have learned a huge amount in 3 hours and feel confident that I could continue on my own. I will definitely be attending future workshops.'
'The venue used was 'cosy' and clean and quiet. Ali was a great presenter who was very supportive and knows what she is doing.'
'I feel inspired to write!'

Night Garden, by Charlotte

Currently working with Charlotte year 7, and she has produced some stunning descriptive writing. This, her latest, was inspired after sharing that moment from Angela Carter's The Magic Toyshop where Melanie, wearing her mother's wedding dress, goes out into the garden, at night, alone. Charlotte shows great control when working with atmosphere - well done, Charlotte!

Night Garden

A harvest moon glowed, silvering in the midnight spread. Stars dotted the endless sky with not a cloud in sight. The railings felt fragile against the bold surroundings and looked like the tiniest breath would knock them over. By the garden path I stood, grey stones jabbing my bare feet as I walked – until the garden stalled me. Trees loomed like fey spirits, willowy and elegant. Beneath their clustered livery, shoots reached for dew drops falling from their glittered canopy. Flowers: once the pride of summer, they now had retreated to rule the earth in the beginning of winter. Snowdrops swayed in the humid breeze, catching moonbeams in their wake. Early honey suckle climbed the aged brick wall, filling the air with its sweet nectar scent. I drifted, moon-dazed.

Writing: the Power of Childhood Memory

Working with writers to recover childhood memories can lead to some small yet powerful moments of recall. One of my own that popped up in session recently was a memory of school cross country running: being one of the last; legs mottled blue from the cold; ghastly!

Now, all these years later I’m running and the knees cope better if I head off hard roads and into the hills. The air is super-charged with the scent of sun-yellow rape. There is birdsong – a chiff-chaff and the song of a skylark, somewhere high and out sight - and I have a moment of epiphany (GCSE poetry students, remember? A moment of realisation, like stanza three in Bayonet Charge – except I might change Ted Hughes’ harsh consonants of ‘cold clockwork’ for a softer sibilance!) So: by what sweet serendipity of the stars is it that I am here, in the East Yorkshire Wolds, cross country running and loving it?

1     Memories from school days are still as powerful as ever; the door to our childhood never closes.

2)     I’m so glad I don’t suffer from hay fever.

3)     PE teachers in the 1970s have a lot to answer for!

Week 2 Ghost Writing

Another ghost writing session with my client who has sustained brain injuries in a car crash. This time we attempt to return to memories from his young school days - or what fragments remain from this time. A surprising amount of detail surfaces: he recalls that he was naughty in primary school (weren't we all!) and that as a young adult he liked Depeche Mode.

My issue is how to write this. How much detail do I add, to shape his fragmented material into acceptable memoir which the reader can picture? Or should I leave his hesitant, sometimes repetitive/disrupted narrative voice to speak for itself? As our session comes to a close, he says:

        'It's hard to explain. The car crash has made me... Deep down I wish
         I was a different person; I wish it had happened to somebody else. But it was ME
         and that makes me want to scream out loud but I don't; I don't want to do that
         This cake is nice this cake I've just eaten it was beautiful a beautiful cake. It was nice.
         I want someone to see me for who I am. I'm not a bad person. It's just hard.'

His words bring my heart into my throat; seems to me they are fantastic at just speaking for themselves.

The new rise in fascism

Just read two WW2 novels: Marge Piercy’s Gone to Soldiers (1987) and Tatiana de Rosnay’s Sarah’s Key, written some 20 years later, in 2007. Huge contrast: Piercy’s literary tale of the interwoven fates of her characters weighs beautifully heavy. De Rosnay’s story probably originated in a good idea but is written into clunky dialogue and clumsy plot-swings.

Both focus on the horror of the treatment of Jews during the war years. We read it as fiction, but cannot forget that it was real – therein lies the power of such material to appall yet fascinate.

Fast forward then to Britain, 2017: a young Kurdish-Iranian asylum seeker, 17, is attacked in the street; brutally beaten. He came here for sanctuary; there is none. How many tried to stop it? It is an awful parallel to draw.

Over and over, the rise of fascism in 1930s Europe and its abhorrent outcome is charted in fiction, but we cannot forget that its origins lie in reality. Some 60 years later, we are in a new and dreadful reality of our own.

Writing for Therapy

First session with Mick (not his real name) this week, and I'm nervous. A victim of a car crash some years ago, he suffered injuries to the brain and has been fighting to come to terms with his changed life ever since. He is desperate to tell his story as a memoir. I'm worried that he sees our writing sessions as a way of recovering lost memories - I don't have a magic formula for this.

In the end, it's ok - in fact it's a good first session where Mick chats, apparently at ease, and I record his words on my laptop so that later, I can rework this first draft material into memoir form. He tells the story of the crash; his epilepsy; his difficulties knowing that the first 21 years of his life have been largely wiped from memory. I'm anxious at the thought that he might leave our session upset all over again after all this reliving stuff.

Then, as I develop his words, searching for a narrative voice, I worry all over again that he won't like the reworked material; that he's imagined it one way and I've taken it in a different direction. This is not going to be easy. But we have a second session booked this week and in spite of my nerves, I'm looking forward to it. I know Mick can do this - I just hope that I'll be able, in my turn, to do his words justice - it has become very important that I do.

It's Haiku Time

Working with year 7 Charlotte this week and she asks for help with the dreaded haiku homework. Her first attempt:

The best time my fave,

Oh daffodils yay they are

Growing in the field.

Oh Geez. Haiku has never been my favourite - and what does a writer do when faced with 'fave' and 'yay'? But working from Charlotte's first draft, we were able to cut words that weren't doing any work; use powerful verbs and introduce my friend the semi-colon. Here's Charlotte's re-worked Winter haiku (I left her to work with those daffodils):

Days fall short; frost creeps -

leaves curl, crisped in ice. Snow packs,

hard as a nutshell.

Writing haiku demands discipline; economy. Every word needs to work - hard. This one uses assonance, personification, alliteration and a splendid simile (Charlotte's image). 

Addressed the prejudice - suddenly I'm a fan!

Carrotsmash!

Tada! At last (rebranding = hard work!) new website carrotsmash.co.uk is live. So:

Visit carrotsmash.co.uk for creative writing workshops and classes; proofreading services and English and Maths tuition.

When Writing Hurts

So I lead a workshop @YorkLibrariesUK aimed at unlocking past memories to generate authentic writing. I'm thinking: fine for those considering writing memoir. What happens? A woman manages to articulate on paper and then, tearfully, reading it back to the group how, after all these years, it felt when she first saw her daughter with her own baby.  A man articulates, on paper and out loud, how it felt to be pushed in a wheelchair and no one, no one at all looked at him - just at his carer, pushing him.

If ever we needed evidence that writing can be so, so much more than words on a page.

Still reeling. Ali x

Time for an update on recent Thoughttree Writing Workshop successes!

2016 (end of!)

Before the Christmas frenzy overtakes us all, we gather in December for a session on How to Write Dazzling Descriptions. Picture this:

First, we look at how experienced writers weave descriptive passages into dialogue, thought and action in order to avoid the notorious ‘info-dump’, that chunk of extended description which stops the story – the part, as Elmore Leonard put it,  ‘that readers tend to skip’.  

Next, we agree that the reader is bound to need a sense of physical location (setting) and some back story, so we explore techniques for describing the essential details without distracting from the story - whilst at the same time conveying the protagonist’s mood and feelings without slowing the pace.

Then, for a while the room is quiet, but for the scratch and rustle of pen and paper;  and finally, we have just enough time to share the results  - and we are bowled over, as usual, by everyone’s deft and dazzling prose!

All this in two and a half hours – fuelled by a coffee and cake break!

2017 (Beginning of!)

As an apt start to the New Year, we call our January workshop New Resolutions in Writing!

The question is: how can we create a sense of ‘authenticity’ in our character, plot and theme? We jot down a list of personal passions, interests and aspirations, choose one and add some detail. For some of us, it’s like opening the flood gates – there’s so much to say.

So, as writers, how can we exploit all this enthusiasm and knowledge, as a way of strengthening our connection with the reader? The answer is to place some of that (ready-made) passion at the centre of your main character’s motivation.  Hold that thought.

Another question: what is ‘theme’? We collaborate on a definition and agree that it is an idea or issue which crops up repeatedly, connecting the ‘internal journey’ of the protagonist with the ‘external conflict’. This drives the action forward, leading to some form of transformation.

Then we write. The scenario is this: a character is faced with redundancy (external conflict).  Set the immediate crisis alongside the potential of pursuing another personal passion or ambition. Does she/he choose the safe or risky option? What is the goal that drives them (internal journey)? Add another problem. Pile on the pressure and you have a story!

 We part company after sharing our sketched out plots – full of ideas and good intentions!

Check the website soon for details of the next Workshop, to be held on Thursday 2^nd February and repeated on Friday 3^rd February, both 10am-12.30, at The Village Paintpot, Elloughton.

Look forward to seeing you there!

Trumped!

O my America! My new-found-land!

As we watch in disbelief the handover of power from one of the most intelligent and sage presidents that America has ever known to – of all people, Donald Trump; as Trumpton stands on the threshold of supreme (ist?) power; lets remind ourselves of just a few Trumpist comments/actions that are readily available to us in the media. There are so many that it’s hard to choose…

On women: ‘Grab them by the pussy.’

On disabled or physically impaired people: crude, physical imitation, waving arms

On gay marriage: ‘very unattractive. It’s weird’

On race: ‘laziness is a trait in blacks’

Cue new wave of novels with perverted, power-crazed despot at centre…

Your Ghosts of Christmas Past

Happy New Year to all you bloggers out there! Bit thoughtful with the coming of January - so here's an offering to all you parents out there...

Your Ghosts of Christmas Past

 It’s all about the before: you make up beds; buy stuff you haven’t had in the house for months like devil-may-care tubs of thick cream; chocolates; joints of ham; spare pillows! Red is best, the tree has to be huge and oh God, you embrace the excess of it. You’re humming to Slade on the radio; Walking in the Air.

Then they arrive: your kids, now adult and they leave their dirty plates and borrow your razor; your new tights (and snag them). The cat is on the beds again. The house is filled with festive mess and noise and on The Day you open presents like you always did, with fuss and hugs. The sweet ghosts of your Christmas Pasts whisper of stockings filled; whisky and a mince pie for Santa; size 3 wellies for a winter walk; Buzz Lightyear and the first doll. Remember when? Never forget it!

Then it’s the after: you strip the beds; the cat settles on your new jumper but you can’t be bothered to shift it. The tree is shedding like crazy so you strip it too and wrestle it outside into the sharp damp of a January morning. Twinkly lights switched off. Kids dropped off at the station, one by one. What next?

What now?